January 29, 2021

What affects our experience of motherhood?

This felt like a good place to start. An acknowledgement that each of us experiences motherhood differently.

There are soooo many ways in which our experience of motherhood is affected by factors both inside ourselves and externally. Whether it’s the support we receive, our mental health, financial stability, or societies expectations, to name just a few, there are numerous ways our expectations and experiences of motherhood are affected.

It is motherhood that allowed me to see all the ways in which my internal and external world influenced my experience and perception of life. From hormonal imbalances, physical limitations, the amount of emotional fuel left in the tank at any given time, societies messages and expectations, my own beliefs and expectations. It’s all these different lenses that we see through that shape our perspective and views on motherhood and my goodness there are SO many! It felt like motherhood magnified everything because everything felt more extreme. The tiredness, the hormones, the expectations of myself, it’s like they were all cranked up after becoming a mother.

Given all the different influences, which will alter from person to person, it’s no wonder women have such differing views and choices in their parenting. It’s also no wonder that we can feel so differently about ourselves and our children on any given week, day or minute. We are complex beings processing a tonne of data/influences on a minute by minute basis. There are so many variables that surely we’re all naturally going to be as different and unique as the next mum, with our thoughts, experiences and choices. Yet there often seems to be an ideal, a right way or a magical contradiction of ideals that a mother is suppose to be.

I want to shed light on how great a range of experiences, feelings and perspectives there are of mothers and motherhood. Society provides us an ideal version of motherhood that is completely unrealistic and packed full of contradictions. There often seems no breathing space for difference ideas and experiences to exist side by side and for mothers to flourish without constant messages about what they could/should be doing differently. I’d love for people to share their thoughts and experiences.

Some questions I’ll be exploring in the coming weeks are:

  1. What are the factors which affect our experience of motherhood? Are some more powerful than others? Are some “of this time” or are they generations old?
  2. How much has motherhood evolved since our grandparents were doing it? What role has social media played? How has a global pandemic changed our thoughts/ideas/feelings about motherhood both as an experience and how it is viewed by society?
  3. What expectations do/did we have of ourselves as mothers, both before motherhood and as we navigate through it, and where do they come from? Are they realistic? Do they change over time?
  4. If we could go back to becoming a mother for the first time again and could wave a magic wand to remove the obstacles to enjoying motherhood more, what would we change?

You can pop across to my

to share in the community or you can of course drop me your thoughts more privately via email.


Would people prefer a closed Facebook Group for community involvement? Do let me know in the comments below..